musimsemi

I feel it, the wind of change…

Neverland where children won’t grow up… I am afraid of being grown up… I don’t wanna grow up… I have to be growing up. Otherwise, the world won’t accept me… But i don’t wanna grow up for sure… I don’t like the circle of life… it’s not because of the death… I am not afraid of death, maybe i do little…  I just don’t want to grow up since  i am not a person that suit to be a good grown up… Maybe, you think that i am a weird person, but it’s the way it is… Perhaps in the future, one day, i do want to grow up… however, now i want to search my own NEVERLAND and never be growing up…

I am not myself anymore… There are too much hatred in me… I hate my house for it’s not a home… I hate Pa for you’re not such a Pa… I hate Big B for you’re pathetic… I hate little B for I don’t understand you… I hate my friends for they’re hypocrite… I hate people for they care themselves… I hate my world for the world deserts me… I hate my eyes for it’s so arrogant… I hate my smile for it’s so cunning… I hate my heart for it’s so dark… I hate my mind for it’s so evil… I hate myself for I hate everything… I am not myself anymore… I am drowning in deep darkness…